Although I’ve talked about self-kindness before, I want to circle back to it.
In the 90s, when I was a licensed professional counselor in Charleston, SC, most of the women clients I saw did not think they deserved kindness or gentleness from anyone, and especially not from themselves. This saddened me, given how resilient and amazing they were.
It reminds me of the mother on the plane who in case of emergency is instructed to put the oxygen mask on herself first, in order to save her children. Kindness to ourselves needs to come first, so we can then pass it on.
Since this is a concept that many of us struggle with, what might kindness to yourself look like? Here are some ideas:
Rest when you are tired.
Take a walk.
Breathe deeply.
Seek beauty in nature.
Read a book.
Say “No” when you need to.
Let people help you.
Go easy on the self-criticism.
Have a nice cup of tea.
Enjoy a phone call or a FaceTime chat with a friend.
Listen to your favorite music.
Write in your journal.
Make yourself something nice for dinner.
If the news scares you, take a break, don’t watch it.
Sing in the shower.
Dance while making breakfast.
Smile at yourself in the mirror, and maybe throw yourself a kiss.
Laugh more often.
Do something creative.
Do something silly.
Forgive yourself for being imperfect.
Trust the process.
What would you add to this list? What are one or two things you might like to try this week?
Stay safe. Be gentle with yourself.
Love,
Susan
Read the previous dispatch here.
Sorry. Put the wrong date on this one. It’s actually Monday, August 24th. xo
It is so hard to ask for help. I needed something from our local Co-op, but wasn’t feeling well enough to pick it up. I can’t tell you how many people have said, “If you need any help, let me know.” Yet it took me an hour to finally call a friend who lives near the store, who was more than happy to help. I had what I needed in an hour. A lesson I need to learn over and over.
Hi Lynn. Thanks so much for this comment. You are not alone in having trouble asking for help. So many women do. Perhaps we give people a gift by letting them help us because afterwards they feel useful, and perhaps even kind, and kindness is good for the soul. I think you were very brave to ask for help, and I hope you will continue to challenge yourself to accept this grace and lead the way for others.
Take good care. xo 🙂