Here are my notes from reading Beth Kephart’s wonderful book about writing a memoir called: Handling the Truth. CAUTION: it might actually convince you to write one.
Are you like me? Can you tell how much you love a book by how many notes you take, or how many corners you turn down to re-read and study if you’re reading fiction? I LOVE to read books that inspire me (fiction and nonfiction), and when I find something that makes me stand a little taller or breathe a little deeper I want to pass it on and share it with you.
Of course, it’s hard to tell from just a few notes if you’ll like something, but see if any of these passages resonate with you.
Notes from Handling the Truth: On the Writing of Memoir by Beth Kephart.
- “When I ask my students to journal daily, I ask them not to judge and not to filter. Just put it down, I say–whatever you think of, however you want.”
- Play around with present tense. “It is instinct, spontaneity, life gulped in, the primal. The senses are ripe, but there is no absolute knowing, not yet in this trembling moment, of what will teach or linger.”
- Rainer Maria Rilke in Letters to a Young poet writes: “It is also good to love: because love is difficult. For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. That is why young people, who are beginners in everything, are not yet capable of love: it is something they must learn. With their whole being, with all their forces, gathered around their solitary, anxious, upward-beating hearts, they must learn to love.”
- Write for five minutes on one thing that you are learning to love. [I would add, don’t limit yourself to five!]
- “If you are not awake to the world, if you do not approach the work as if it is the first thing you’ve ever written or the last words you’ll ever say, you have no business writing. Writing is not a task; it is no job. Writing is a privilege.”
- “Always I make sure that, even as I teach, I don’t neglect my role–my privilege–as a student of so many things. As a student of cultures, when I travel. As a student of photography. As a student of gardens or a student of rivers, or a student of the rumba, samba, waltz…..
- “Our best teachers teach us more about life than about anything else. They give us the chance to be slightly better people. They listen to us so that we can start listening to ourselves, so that we can remove all the junk that lies between us and our own authority, our own capacity for remembering. It doesn’t matter who you are of what you do: Don’t lose your urgency. Don’t yield to the suspicion that you know enough, have seen enough, have wanted enough, have danced the perfect rumba. Don’t get yourself all pretty, perfect, and complete. Value imbalance. Remain vulnerable.” p. 135-6
What do you think? Have you ever considered writing a memoir? Or if you are in the process of writing one, how is it going?
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My family of books is growing:
The Secret Sense of Wildflower – Southern historical fiction, a Kirkus Reviews’ Best Book of 2012. Available in ebook and print everywhere. Audio at Audible.com
Seeking Sara Summers – An elegant love story with a uniquely twenty-first-century twist. Available in ebook and print everywhere. Audio at Audible.com
Fearless Writing for Women – Extreme Encouragement and Writing Inspiration. Available in ebook and print everywhere.
Quentin and the Cave Boy – A Humorous Adventure Story for Kids 8 to 88. Available on Kindle and in paperback everywhere. Audio available at Audible.com soon.
Circle of the Ancestors – A Hero’s Journey for All Ages. A 13 year old Cherokee boy finds a rare and precious star ruby and with the help of his ancestors decides what to do with it. Available in paperback and ebook everywhere.
Good stuff, Susan. Thanks. I’m pondering teaching a class in creativity and am bookmarking this post.
Oh what a great post, Susan… I needed that gentle push to keep me moving forward!
I’m so glad the post was helpful, Susan. I had hoped it would be.:) xo
I bet you would be very good at that Barbara. Thanks for bookmarking the post. I honestly think the world needs more creativity classes, especially for women. My fearless writing for women workshops have been wonderful. I’m on hiatus right now while I work on revisions to a novel, but I can’t wait to get back to them!
> how many corners you turn
> down to re-read and study
> if you’re reading fiction?
Whoah, I’d never lend you a book, Susan. 😉 That’s why God invented Post-Its.
I’ve returned many a book to an Amazon seller who listed it as “Like New” and it had dogears.
You caught me, John. I’ve always loved dogs, and I dog-ear whenever I find something I want to go back to. I usually don’t resell these dog-eared books on Amazon, though. They are the keepers.:)
Hi Susan,
Amazing how I landed on your pages by following another lead. Intuition at work here? The Universe leading me?
Ok, enough of that, here is the thing: Always knew I wanted to write a memoir, but discussed it with me family, and now they avoid me, like the plague. They are afraid family secrets will come out. How do I do this without offending their feelings? I feel entitled to write my memoir, without their approval, as it was my experience after all. This is the conundrum.
Have studied the great authors, read just about every biography, autobiography and memoir on the greatest authors from this and the last century, life stories and advice from emerging and established authors of this century, but how to tell one’s truth without offending others is a tough one. Read everything I can on writing, about writing, and memoirs. Have started a memoir, how do I tell my truth from my perspective, in my voice
and not offend family? How did you do it?
I have put it off for too many years, and realise I cannot any longer. So am halfway with 2 novels, not memoir, so I am trying other genre’s, mystery and thriller, but until I have done a memoir, I feel held back, stuck if you will, as memoir is what I started out wanting to write.
Hi Theresa,
I feel your pain. So many memoir writers are afraid of hurting family members. But it sounds like you are giving up yourself, your authenticity, by not writing it. If it were me, I would write it anyway–secretly. I would not tell a soul what I was doing, and I especially wouldn’t tell any family members. Once you have the memoir completely finished, then I would go in search of the answer. Or by then, maybe the answer will be clear. That’s my 2 cents and I could be wrong, but that’s what I would do.
I’m glad you found me, Theresa. I believe in intuition. I hope you’ll stick around and follow my blog.:)
All the best,
Susan
Thank you Susan, I appreciate your reply. So that then is the way, less talk, more write. Yes, I will stick around, as I see you are one of the authors not ‘too famous’ to come down and help the little folk, personally. That says a lot about your humanity, so thank you again. Look forward to reading your chapters, and write on, as your book list is growing nicely.