Writer, Louise Erdrich said:

“By having children, I’ve both sabotaged and saved myself as a writer. [...] With a child you certainly can’t be a Bruce Chatwin or a Hemingway, living the adventurer-writer life. No running with the bulls at Pamplona. If you value your relationships with your children, you can’t write about them. You have to make up other, less convincing children. There is also one’s inclination to be charming instead of presenting a grittier truth about the world. But then, having children has also made me this particular writer. Without my children, I’d have written with less fervor; I wouldn’t understand life in the same way. I’d write fewer comic scenes, which are the most challenging. I’d probably have become obsessively self-absorbed, or slacked off. Maybe I’d have become an alcoholic. Many of the writers I love most were alcoholics. I’ve made my choice, I sometimes think: Wonderful children instead of hard liquor.”

As for me, I have two amazing daughters who are launched into the world at this point, but when I started writing they were still in middle school and high school. I was an 8 – 3 writer, except on holidays and summer vacations, and I was a single-mom, as well. I’d like to think writing actually made me a better mom because–then, as now–I feel at my most authentic when I write.

We writers will do what we have to do to get to write. What about you? Are you a writer, poet, painter or other creative-type with children? How has this limited or enhanced your craft?

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It happens to the best of us. We’re cruising along in life, things are going great or just so-so and then – wham! – something happens that stops us cold! It could be something at work, in a relationship, or something less clear-cut, like a fear that we’re not good enough or that our lives don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

Repetitious negative thoughts such as: I should …. I ought to …. I never ….. I always…..— these keep our psychological wheels spinning and eventually create a rut that seems impossible to get out of. Perhaps we’re stuck in a relationship, a job or an attitude that no longer fits us or doesn’t make sense anymore.

Whatever the cause, people get stuck. It’s just what we do from time to time. Like I told a client recently, it’s like a jeep that gets stuck in the mud. Spinning the wheels just digs the rut deeper. We need to stop, get out of the car, and assess the situation. Sometimes we need help. We need to call on rock-solid friends or trusted, confidential professionals who know the quickest ways to get out of the rut and who can give us a compassionate nudge in the direction we say we want to go.

When stuck in life’s muddy places, it’s often hard to envision our destination. We tend to focus on the stuck-ness. But sometimes creating a new vision, giving up old attitudes and patterns and gently rocking the jeep with possibilities gets things moving again.

Years ago, one of the areas I felt stuck in my life was creatively. I had always wanted to write a book but hadn’t found the time, confidence or energy to act on this dream. So with some awesome help, I did the work I needed to do to get free and now I’ve written several novels. One is out right now, and two others are in the process of being marketed to publishers by my literary agent.

Is there an area of your life where you feel stuck? Is there a book you need to write? A cause you need to champion? An attitude or a relationship that you’ve outgrown but that is keeping you small? If so, take the steps to get free from whatever is keeping you from moving forward. I know you can do this.

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