Writers, artists and creative types are some of the most vulnerable people I know. To put yourself out there, to risk criticism about your work and dare to create in a culture that doesn’t always value creativity, is hard. But despite this predicament, Brene Brown ( a very left brain scientist/social worker/researcher) believes that this vulnerability may hold the key to deep, soulful living. Recently, she gave a 20 minute TED talk on The Power of Vulnerability that I think is compelling and courageous for someone in her field.  This was part of her appeal for me. Her conclusions are something you would expect from artists and poets, not people who come to the conclusion through documented, left-brained research. The link is here if you have twenty minutes to spare in order to watch.

She says on her website:

When I stand back and look at the work I’ve done over the past ten years, I can clearly see that the heart of my work is about the very human need to live with authenticity, love and belonging, and a resilient spirit. I call this WholeHearted living. I have dedicated my career to studying difficult topics like shame, empathy, and vulnerability because I want to know, in my head and in my heart, why we’re all so afraid to let our true selves be seen and known. I want to hear and tell the stories that inspire us to be real, imperfect, and powerful. The core of WholeHearted living is connection.

And then later:

I recently wrote a piece on my blog about my journey to live authentically and soulfully. I received several emails asking me what I meant by living authentically and soulfully. For me, the soulful piece is about living in the spirited space that connects my head and my heart (which is a huge challenge for a head person, like me). Trying to come up with a definition for authenticity forced me to tap deep into my research to find the words that capture what I’ve learned in my work and reflects what I’ve actually lived. Here’s what I came up with:

What about you? Would your life look any differently if you chose to live it authentically and soulfully? How would this effect your writing,  art, and creativity? As always, I’d love to hear from you.

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Twenty years ago I had a different name and a different mission: I founded a not-for-profit women’s center in Charleston, South Carolina and was its first executive director. It was truly a labor of love and, honestly, one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I didn’t do it alone, of course. We had a tremendous set of volunteers, both women and men, who helped it get established. I learned an enormous amount from the experience. And in a way, it paved the way for me to become a writer because I learned how to create something tangible from a dream.

Twenty years later I’m happy to report that The Center for Women in Charleston is still going strong and I have gone on to create other things, stories that you can hold in your hands that hopefully entertain and inspire.

Here’s an article that ran in the Charleston Post and Courier after the center opened:

What were you doing twenty years ago?

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My interview on Book Talk, Creativity and Family Matters was quite enjoyable. I wondered what I would talk about for an hour, but it seems I had plenty to say about creativity, my writing process, Seeking Sara Summers, as well as offering my take on the current world of publishing, getting an agent, and the dilemma of how to set aside time to write.

 Anjuelle Floyd, also a writer, asked some great questions and had a lot to contribute, as well.

 If you’d like to sample a bit of the interview, you can listen here. As always, I’d love to hear what you think.

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Would you be happier if you spent more time discussing creativity and the meaning of life — and less time talking about the weather? According to a blog post at the NY Times, a study has shown that deep conversations make people happier than small talk.

I love deep conversations. I am fortunate enough to have some really good friends, and a mate, who I have deep conversations with quite frequently. I realize what a blessing this is and I have a lot of gratitude.

I would even go so far as to say that a really good novel, really good non-fiction, or a really good poem is a deep conversation between the writer and the reader.

It may sound counterintuitive, but people who spend more of their day having deep discussions and less time engaging in small talk seem to be happier, said Matthias Mehl, a psychologist at the University of Arizona who published the study.

We found this so interesting, because it could have gone the other way — it could have been, ‘Don’t worry, be happy’ — as long as you surf on the shallow level of life you’re happy, and if you go into the existential depths you’ll be unhappy, Dr. Mehl said.

But, he proposed, substantive conversation seemed to hold the key to happiness for two main reasons: both because human beings are driven to find and create meaning in their lives, and because we are social animals who want and need to connect with other people.

By engaging in meaningful conversations, we manage to impose meaning on an otherwise pretty chaotic world,” Dr. Mehl said. “And interpersonally, as you find this meaning, you bond with your interactive partner, and we know that interpersonal connection and integration is a core fundamental foundation of happiness.

Are you happiest when you have a deep, meaningful conversation? In a weird way, that’s what I try to do with this blog. Talking about creativity, courage and soul, among other things, is my way of putting something that has meaning (to me, at least) out into the world.

Click the comment button and let me hear what you think!

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“What is to give light, must endure burning.”  – motto of The Sun magazine

“I grapple with having equal proportions of narcissism and low self-esteem.” – Anne Lamott

“Be as a bird perched on a frail branch that she feels bending beneath her, still she sings away all the same, knowing she has wings. – Victor Hugo

“It’s none of their business that you have to learn to write. Let them think you were born that way. – Ernest Hemingway 

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London

 ”When your heart speaks, take good notes.” – Judith Campbell

 ”Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

 ”A room without books is like a body without a soul.” – Marcos Cicero

“Above all, be the heroine of your life. Not the victim.” – Nora Ephron

“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking” – Friedrich Nietzsche

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” - Ovid (43 BC – 17 AD)

“What lies behind us and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.” –  John Irving

“If I were in solitary confinement, I’d never write another novel, and probably not keep a journal, but I’d write poetry, because poems, you see, are between God and me.” May Sarton

“I work continuously within the shadow of failure. For every novel that makes it to my publisher’s desk, there are at least five or six that died on the way.” Gail Godwin

“Twenty years from now you will more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.  – Mark Twain

Do you have a favorite? I’d love to hear from you! Also, if you have any quotes that are personal favorites about writing and creativity, send them my way. I’m always looking for new ones.

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If you are an artist, writer or creative type, I believe that watching this video, brought to you by TED: Ideas worth spreading, will be the best 20 minutes you ever spend.

Watch Elizabeth Gilbert on nurturing creativity here.

In this video, NY Times bestselling author, Elizabeth Gilbert, muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses — and shares the radical idea that, instead of the rare person “being” a genius, all of us “have” a genius. It’s a funny, personal and surprisingly moving talk and will change the way you think about your creativity.

About Elizabeth Gilbert
The author of Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some large topics. Her latest fascination: genius, and how we ruin it.

So what did you think of the video? Did it change the way you think of creativity? Do you believe that your creativity is a way to catch a glimpse of God?  I’d love to hear from you.

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“Success is a finished book, a stack of pages each of which is filled with words. If you reach that point, you have won a victory over yourself no less impressive than sailing single-handed around the world.” –Tom Clancy

“Most of the basic material a writer works with is acquired before the age of fifteen.”  –Willa Cather

“Confront the dark parts of yourself. … Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” –August Wilson 

“It’s none of their business that you have to learn to write. Let them think you were born that way. – Ernest Hemingway 

“I try to create sympathy for my characters, then turn the monsters loose.” –Stephen King

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London

“Above all, be the heroine of your life. Not the victim.” – Nora Ephron

 ”Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 ”The Power of imagination makes us infinite.” – John Muir

“When your heart speaks, take good notes.” – Judith Campbell

Which quote is your favorite? Do you have one to add? I’d love to hear from you.

 
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It happens to the best of us. We’re cruising along in life, things are going great or just so-so and then – wham! – something happens that stops us cold! It could be something at work, in a relationship, or something less clear-cut, like a fear that we’re not good enough or that our lives don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

Repetitious negative thoughts such as: I should …. I ought to …. I never ….. I always…..— these keep our psychological wheels spinning and eventually create a rut that seems impossible to get out of. Perhaps we’re stuck in a relationship, a job or an attitude that no longer fits us or doesn’t make sense anymore.

Whatever the cause, people get stuck. It’s just what we do from time to time. Like I told a client recently, it’s like a jeep that gets stuck in the mud. Spinning the wheels just digs the rut deeper. We need to stop, get out of the car, and assess the situation. Sometimes we need help. We need to call on rock-solid friends or trusted, confidential professionals who know the quickest ways to get out of the rut and who can give us a compassionate nudge in the direction we say we want to go.

When stuck in life’s muddy places, it’s often hard to envision our destination. We tend to focus on the stuck-ness. But sometimes creating a new vision, giving up old attitudes and patterns and gently rocking the jeep with possibilities gets things moving again.

Years ago, one of the areas I felt stuck in my life was creatively. I had always wanted to write a book but hadn’t found the time, confidence or energy to act on this dream. So with some awesome help, I did the work I needed to do to get free and now I’ve written several novels. One is out right now, and two others are in the process of being marketed to publishers by my literary agent.

Is there an area of your life where you feel stuck? Is there a book you need to write? A cause you need to champion? An attitude or a relationship that you’ve outgrown but that is keeping you small? If so, take the steps to get free from whatever is keeping you from moving forward. I know you can do this.

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I received a question via email today from one of my loyal readers and I thought I would answer it here on my blog.

Question for you: You’re a published author. And you keep a blog. Has an editor or potential publisher ever objected to your keeping a blog about your work, not liking the way you promote it and/or yourself, for example?

Has anyone ever said “Kill the self-publicity, and leave the PR to us?”

Just wondering…

My answer:
Oh, how I wish someone would say, “kill the self-publicity, and leave the PR to us.” Unfortunately, that’s not how it works these days. It’s all about building a platform. A platform being a website, a blog, a fan page on facebook, a subscribers list of followers, et al. From everything I hear and read, editors/publishers/agents see an authors’ self-promotion as a necessity. Some agents even ask that you send a marketing plan with your query letter. I would guess this really cuts down on their submissions, but it also is a sign of the times.

The rub for me, as well as a great deal of other writers, is that I am an introvert. I thrive off of the creative process of writing, the coming together of a story, and having a rich inner life. But if you actually want to put your creations out into the world and get read, you have to promote yourself. Unfortunately, I think this weeds out a lot of excellent writers who aren’t willing to play the game and do their own self-promotion and marketing.

The good news, however, is that the world wide web can actually be a haven for introverts. You can do a lot of marketing online now, even book readings via web cams, all in the privacy of your home office. It is a paradox. As an author, you can be both hidden and exposed.

I will admit that the extroverted tasks of marketing and self-promotion are a growing edge for me. But it’s been a good exercise. I’ve made a lot of friends online, from all over the world, and we try to help each other out. I am also accessible to my readers. I get emails weekly from someone who has enjoyed my book. So I guess the situation is however you perceive it: a blessing or a curse. For me, it is both/and.

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This inspirational quote from Marianne Williamson has made the rounds for years. Nevertheless, I will reproduce it here just in case someone needs to hear it or experience it again or for the first time. Writers, artists, and creative types (especially women) are notorious for “playing small” and not seeing their worth.  

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

 

How do you respond to this quote? Do you think her words have truth in them? Are you guilty of “playing small”? I’d love to hear from you. Meanwhile, I challenge you to do one thing today to let your “light shine.” 

P.S. Along the same lines, I recently came across another quote by Senator Edward Kennedy which read: “There is no safety in hiding….”

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